i’m out…to some

as i’ve said on my previous post, di ako sanay mag open up sa mga tao about may sexual preference. kumbaga what they see is what they get in me…

 una akong umamin kay kester, my ex-officemate. nung magkasama pa kami before sa office, she tried asking me about my preference.. of course i denied it..it would take a lot of courage to come out in the open…then nawalan kami ng contact since lumipat sya ng ibang company. then one time, kinontak ko sya, and we planned to meet up. sabi nya okay daw.sabi ko naman good and i’ll tell you something, so important. she asked me about what, sabi ko pag nagkita na lang kami. ..so we met up, kumain and kwentuhan. she asked me ano daw yong sasabihin ko. sabi ko someone’s asking me na makipaglive in sakin..she didnt believe me na yon ang sasabihin ko..she asked ano ba talaga. she asked if i am gay. i said yes…she said bat ngayon ko lang daw sinabi…sabi ko mahirap kayang mag out…tanggap naman nya. and she accepted me wholeheartedly…then i started telling stories about my exes…hehehe… i found an outlet from kester. now i can be myself to her…she’ s a great friend though we seldom talk and see each other.

next is jane.. i am already out to her…(see previous entry, blind date)…

i’ve been thinking these past 2 days to do the same thing to rachelle..she’s been telling me stories and secrets about her na never pa nya sinasabi..sabi naman nya di kami open sa isa’t isa pero nagkakaintindihan na kami…so i just feel like he knows the real me. why? we’ve known each other for 3 years now…i want to tell her about the real me, but i am still thinking. not because i don’t trust her or whatsoever…in fact, she can really keep a secret…and she deserves it because we are friends…BUT kumukuha pa rin ako ng lakas…how i wish i can tell her SOON….God, help me, please…….

~ by conradhall on August 22, 2007.